The Insert Adjective Here of Suzumiya Haruhi
by Col98
Summary: I wrote this with this in mind: What if Yuki, Mikuru and Koizumi never trully existed? What if... Kyon and Haruhi were the only members of the SOS Brigade? Basically, remove whatever could distract Kyon from Haruhi and what do you get? This.
1. The Insert Adjective Here of Suzumiya

* * *

_The Insert Adjective Here of Suzumiya Haruhi_**  
**

The giant turned towards the track field. He's not supposed to have any eyes, yet I could vividly feel his vision. He took one step in our direction. His single step was most likely a couple of meters, or he wouldn't have shortened the distance between us so quickly despite walking so slowly!

I got it! Didn't Asahina say something about it? That prophecy! And Nagato's last message. Snow White and Sleeping Beauty. Please, even I know what Sleeping Beauty means! What is the similarity between these two stories? In our dire situation, the answer was practically shouting out loud.

Man, this is so lame.

It's way too lame! Asahina, Nagato. I'll never accept such development! Never!

My rationality insisted on that. But humans were never a lifeform that relied only on reason to survive. Maybe they needed a bit of Nagato called "mixed-up data". I let go of Haruhi's hand, grabbed her shoulder and turned her towards me.

'What now...'

'You know, I really like you in a ponytail.'

'What?'

'I don't know when, but since then, I can't stop thinking of you in a ponytail. I think it suits you best.'

'What're you trying to pull?'

Her black eyes resisted me. I ignored Haruhi's protests and kissed her on the lips. It's more polite to close your eyes at times like these, so I closed mine. And so, I didn't know what expression Haruhi had. Were her eyes open from the shock? Or did she close her eyes as well? Or did she try and raise her hand and slap me? But even if she did slap me it did not matter, since I was betting everything on this. If anyone else did this to Haruhi, they would know how I felt then. I grabbed on her hand and held on tightly, not wanting to let go yet...

'OH EHM GEE he really did it!!'

Wait... what? As I heard those words I was quickly thrown into a state of confusion. I attempted to recognize whose voice that was I just heard but it just never came up. I opened my eyes and I discovered that Haruhi too had her eyes closed. Pulling away slowly from Haruhi I noticed that lights suddenly began turning on around us. The whole school was now lit alive by large panning spotlights. The spotlights were everywhere; they came from the roofs of the school buildings, there were lights in the nearby baseball field and there were even lights coming from helicopters hovering noisily above us. What was goin on?

'Ky-Kyon...' this was the first time I heard Haruhi stutter. I could clearly see that she was in a dazed state but I dare not comment on how subtly cute she is right now. She moved back slowly as she observed our surroundings. 'What's going on?'

I don't know.

Haruhi, who was still probably still a little confused found herself unconsciously walk behind me as a helicopter slowly moved towards us. It's rotor blades and the wind they displaced caused a huge wave of dust to come at me and Haruhi. Then from behind with its spotlight still focused on us, another helicopter made its descent.

The first helicopter carried with it an eccentric young lady dressed in a formal suit. She quickly ran towards us with two of her cameramen and one sound man. The second helicopter dropped off a cargo of about four people that quickly ran in towards the giant behind us. Two of the men carried open laptops with them while the other two appeared to be there just to assist the ones with the laptops. I looked up and I saw that the giant has completely stopped moving. It's large arms lowered lifelessly on its sides.

'Hell-oh there!?' the woman ran towards me with a microphone that she shoved in my face. Her two cameramen began rolling and that other guy placed another mic over our heads. For better sound quality? Anyway, the woman was holding on to her hair as the helicopter began flying off behind her. 'Hi I'm Miromi Hayashibara, the host of this show of ours. How are you two doing tonight?'

'I-I'm at a lost of words.' I said into the black mic.

'Ah I see.' the woman grinned at us mischievously. She then turned her attention to Haruhi. Pointing the microphone at her she asked. 'And what about you miss?'

Haruhi took the mic rudely from her and said into it with a loud crackled voice, 'What is this? I demand an explanation now!'

The woman was not taken in shock instead she was forced into anger. Snatching the mic back from Haruhi she said angrily. 'Give me that.' But once she was conscious of the camera again she smiled gleefully and stood between us. 'Well this was a lovely ending wouldn't the people at home agree with us?'

The woman continued talking into the mic and to the cameras. I was beginning to consider the idea that Haruhi and I might have just fallen into a practical joke... and judging by all these cameras and lights and helicopters it looks like higher forces were involved. 'Hey what's going on? Do you have any ideas Haruhi?' I looked down at her.

'This is probably just some sick...' she looked up at me but she quickly looked away. 'Ah-uhm... I don't.' At this point I didn't exactly know what her reaction meant.

As the woman in the suit continued reporting to the "audience at home" one of her cameramen quickly ran to her to whisper something into her hear. The woman moved away shocked. She then turned to us with sparkling eyes. 'I am so sorry for keeping you guys in the dark for so long.'

'What's going on! I demand an explanation!' Haruhi snapped.

'She's quite the demanding lady isn't she?' The woman, or better yet Miromi, leaned against me. 'Eh? Wink, wink, nudge, nudge.'

What?

'Nevermind.' she sighed, moved away and faced us again. 'The both of you are actually part of a Social Experiment Conducted by the Major TV Network I work for.'

What TV Network?

'Sakura TV.'

Oh... Wait, isn't that a news channel?

'Actually the both of you are only the first couple. There are actually about four couples in total that have been used for this Social Experiment. The Experiment targeted the Japanese Youth of today, the whole program was to experiment how the Japanese Youth would react to certain social situations.' Miromi explained, I wasn't sure if I was getting this right.

'Think of it as a really, really awesomely large hidden camera show!!' she leaped into the air and faced the camera. 'Now as we can all see Haruhi and Kyon have apparently passed the test.'

What test is she talking about?

'The Sleeping Beauty Test.' she winked at me. 'This delightful Social Experiment was started by Mr. Hans Himmler, a German-Japanese philosopher and famous writer who believes that the youth of today are irresponsible, selfish and materialistic. This Experiment was basically conducted to prove him right or wrong. Are you two following?'

'Yes. If I'm getting this right, Haruhi and I have just been used to prove a person's point? But why us? And also, if this was just a social experiment made my some news network can you explain about...' I hesitated a moment but I chose to just go ahead. '...can you explain about Koizumi, Nagato and Yuki? Each of them claimed to be...'

'Oh those guys...' Miromi signaled her cameramen to stop recording via a cut-throat motion. 'Those guys are just actors.'

'How is that even possible? How did you people know exactly who Haruhi was going to choose to join her club?' I asked anxiously.

'We didn't, that's why nearly **everyone** in your school is an actor!' Miromi raised her hands into the air and began swaying them quickly from side to side.

I now understand... So basically the life I lived this past few days was nothing but a practical joke. Judging by Haruhi's reaction of falling back on the grass I could tell that she's also been had by this little game. So Nagato, Koizumi, Mikuru and even the murdering Ryoko were all actors? So whatever friendships I formed with them never existed... What do I do now then? So all those talk about time travel were probably scripted. That fight with Asakura was probably rehearsed with some special effects added in and even Asahina-san's personality was fake.

With these realizations I slowly fell back next to Haruhi. Starring up at the stars with her I realized that she was the only person I can relate to with how I felt about these past events.

* * *

I was in my room, and turning around, I realized I had fallen out of bed onto the floor. Of course, I was wearing my pajamas. Half of the messed-up blanket lay on the floor. I placed my hand behind my back, opening my mouth like an idiot.

It was some time before I could think again.

I had wanted to crawl back up on my bed and get a few more moments of sweet sleep but as my vision passed my alarm clock it immediately went off like a fire alarm. The rest of the morning went on as casually as it usually does. On my walk to school I felt exhausted because of my lack of sleep. The walk up the hill was even more tiring than it usually was. This is killing me to be honest and I just want this day to be over with.

But the faces I faced at the hill all managed to lighten my mood. These people who I normally don't know appeared smiling and happy. Girls gave me courteous smiles and the guys gave me interesting comments about last night's event. Some even went as far as smacking me at the back to "congratulate" me. This wasn't the most pleasant of experiences since my back was still hurting from the fall this morning.

As I made my way to the first year fifth classroom I noticed that there was a small crowd following me. Since I really didn't know how to react to them I just chose to go ahead and ignore them. Apparently Haruhi and I have become celebrities overnight and this crowd proves that exactly.

I stopped as I entered the classroom. Haruhi's seat was empty. She was probably just late or something. But it's rare for me to arrive before her.

I lowered my bag on my chair, sat and gave a sigh. I had wanted to rest a bit since Okabe wasn't here yet so I lowered my head on my desk. As I closed my eyes I heard a familiar male voice.

'Yo Kyon!' it was Taniguchi. He walked up to me and sat on a nearby desk. 'You look a little tired.'

I rolled my head and looked at him in the eye. Though I was a little irritated I didn't want to be rude. 'Well yeah, getting chased by a blue-giant does that to you.'

Taniguchi smiled at me. His eyes then drifted towards Haruhi's empty seat. 'She's not here yet... did you make her cry?'

I struck him again with a serious look. I'm not in the mood.

'Ok, ok...' Taniguchi backed away slowly with his hands raised for defense. 'Don't worry Kyon I won't bug you for the day... it's just that... I can't believe that you managed to do _that_.'

What was he talking about? I raised my head and asked.

'You know, the kiss. I wasn't able to do that, probably because of my lack of confidence...' he rolled his eyes.

'As I remember you ran like hell after seeing the giant up close.' Kunikida joined in on the conversation. He walked up next to Taniguchi and patted his shoulder. 'Maybe if you stayed with her things would have turned out differently.'

'It's not my fault I was scared of those blue things.' Taniguchi shifted his eyes again.

'But didn't your version of Koizumi show you around "closed space". Didn't he show off his "powers" to you?' I asked as I rested my arm on my desk.

'Koizumi? Isn't he the cross-dressing maid person?' Taniguchi asked me stiffly.

'What? No! He's the espe--'

Before I could finish what I was saying Kunikida interrupted me. 'Uhm let me clear this up. I went to Sakura TV's website and apparently they chose to shuffle the roles of the actors based on how you guys wanted to see them. Basically...' Kunikida coughed lightly. 'Kyon appeared to have wanted to see Mikuru-chan as the innocent and cute lady... the same goes for Haruhi. While on Taniguchi's side... he... well what I'm saying is... this is the only way I can put this so don't be angry. I think... Taniguchi secretly wanted to see Koizumi cross-dress.' Kunikida and I looked at Taniguchi.

A long awkward silence consumed us all.

Taniguchi finally chose to break the silence. 'Hey! That's not the case! You see Kyoko (that was probably the girl he was with) _wanted_ him to be like that! Maybe the writers misinterpreted my personality or something!'

'They probably thought that you were gay since you never got the girl.' Kunikida said insultingly. I couldn't help but laugh with him while a flustered Taniguchi watched us. Soon enough the whole class joined in on the laughter. My head was feeling lighter now.

But then suddenly the door came slamming open. Haruhi was standing stiffly at the doorstep and I caught a glimpse of the back of her head as she walked towards me. How should I say this? I could see a small tail hanging from her hair onto her shoulder. Her hair was a bit too short to tie into a ponytail, so I guess she only tied that randomly?

Kunikida and Taniguchi gave way to her as she sat behind me. From the corner of my eye I could see Kunikida signaling Taniguchi to leave us. I turned myself around in my seat and I looked at Haruhi. She didn't look back at me instead she chose to look out the window.

'Yo, how's it been?'

'Miserable! Because of what happened last night everybody's been bugging me lately. People keep coming up to me asking embarrassing things about the incident. Their questions range from: How does it feel being a celebrity overnight? To: Did you really _not_ notice that it was all a sham from the beginning? To: Was that Kyon guy a good kisser? It really pisses me off.'

'Oh...' But you have to agree with me here. It was an interesting experience.

She turned and looked at me. Her sharp eyes were focused on mine. Her chin was rested on her palm and it appeared that she was waiting for me to say something.

I smiled faintly before saying...

'That ponytail looks great on you.'

* * *

**Epilogue**

Let me talk about what happened after that.

That afternoon Haruhi still had her hair tied up like that. Well at least now I don't have to convince her to wear it that way since she clearly favors it herself. After classes Haruhi went ahead and continued on to the clubroom, I wasn't sure of the reason though. For all I know she might just want to collect all the stuff that she had cluttered in the clubroom.

But either way I was still left with my cleaning duties back here in the classroom. Half way through my cleaning duties I received a surprise visit from Koizumi, or whatever his real name was.

'Good afternoon Kyon. I just decided to drop by before I leave.' he smiled cheerfully.

'Where to?' I asked.

'Seoul.' He said while he combed the back of his head with his palm. Surprisingly, now that Koizumi wasn't acting anymore I really felt that nothing much changed about him. From this viewpoint Koizumi was still the smiley-faced, slightly laid back but still concise person.

Wait, what are you doing in Seoul?

'Oh, I have a tourney coming up there. You see, other than being a... how should I say this... other than being an amateur actor I'm also a participant in the upcoming StarLeagues.' he said honestly. It appeared to me that he was a bit shy about this gaming career of his.

'You play StarCraft?'

'Yes.' he nodded. 'But compared to the bigtime pros out there I'm merely a small grain of sand in an hourglass. My IGN is... JoeKickass777 by the way and... judging by your facial reaction it's obvious that you've never heard of me.'

'I guess.' I should also point out that that metaphor he used was really bad.

He laughed lightly. 'Right. I'm sorry for having to do this to you and Suzumiya-san.'

'Don't worry about it, it was fun. And this isn't just according to me, Haruhi said so herself.' It was true, if you guys didn't come along my life would probably be as gray as the night sky. I would have still met Haruhi though, but then again without your presence it wouldn't have been as interesting.

'Well, I guess this is goodbye then.' Koizumi said as he stretched out a hand. 'It was a pleasure meeting you and Suzumiya-san. Honestly though, you were the most interesting of the candidates that I have spent my time with. If this wasn't some television show I would have chosen to stay a little longer to spend time with you and Suzumiya-san.' He lowered his voice and muttered beneath his breath. 'I prefer these two as opposed to that cross-dressing freak.'

I took his hand and shook it. 'This could sound a bit weird but I'm going to miss beating you in every game you throw at me.'

Koizumi pulled me close and he whispered in my ear. 'You have Suzumiya-san to play with now.'

* * *

After my final encounter with Koizumi I chose to head to the clubroom where Haruhi was. Don't get any ideas but I wanted to check out the clubroom myself. By the way I wonder if they used different classrooms for the different candidates. As far as I know Taniguchi was one of the candidates along with some random girl... but I don't remember him mentioning that his clubroom was in this school. Perhaps the girl he met was studying at a different school and maybe every after classes he would have to head there.

As I opened the clubroom I discovered Haruhi leaning behind a semi-naked Asahina-san.

'Come on one last time!!' Haruhi shouted as she was forcing a nurse outfit on Asahina-san.

'N...noooooooo--!' Asahina screamed endlessly as Haruhi forcefully pulled off her uniform. I was left standing there in a state of shock. For some reason my legs wouldn't carry me out of the clubroom. Probably because of the realization that this may be the last time that I can see this scene.

The door opened behind me and this is when Asahina-san(big) entered. 'Oh hey ever... what are you doing to my sister!?' Asahina-san(big) shouted as she pointed at Haruhi.

Haruhi and the girl trapped in her eternal grip stopped their actions as they stared at the both of us. Asahina-san had tears in her eyes as she pled for her sister to help her. 'S-Sister... h-help meeeeeeee!!' Haruhi squeezed her breasts as she screamed at me.

'Quick! Kyon! Grab that one! We can still them to attract an audience!' she shouted as she struggled with Asahina.

Asahina-san(big) looked at me, surprised and scared. She slowly backed away with small steady steps until she eventually hit the wall behind her. With a nervous tone of voice she said to me, 'If you touch me I am going to yell bloody rape! Do you hear me? I'm not as held back as my sister you know...!'

I waved her off. 'Don't worry I won't.'

Asahina-san(big) lowered her hands and she gave me a light smile. She then turned her attention to Haruhi. 'You! Let go of her nooooooooooow!'

'Make me!'

I had wanted to enjoy the scenery but as more and more of Asahina-san's(small) skin was being shown I decided to walk outside and close the door.

A few minutes later the silence in the clubroom subsided. I was tempted to walk in and take a peek but my conscience got the better of me and I chose to wait it out a while longer. After a while I heard a welcoming voice from Asahina, from which Asahina, I wasn't quite sure. 'Ky--on, you can come in now.'

I opened the door slowly and I peeked inside. Inside I saw Asahina(small) seated on a hard chair with her older sister messaging her shoulders from behind. Asahina(small) gave me a meek smile while her sister gave me a big one. Her ear-to-ear smile could mean only one thing. She conquered Haruhi.

I looked towards the Brigade Chief's chair. Behind the computer was seated Haruhi, dressed in a nurse outfit. Aside from the pink nurse outfit there was no other visible change in the way Haruhi looked. She was scowling though but this was probably because of the realization that she was just overpowered and forced into wearing that outfit herself.

'Oh and by the way Kyon, we didn't force her to wear the outfit. She chose to wear it herself.' Asahina(big) said to me.

I looked at Haruhi. She looked back at me and her eyes widened. 'Hey don't get any weird ideas! I bought this and since Mikuru-chan's not wearing it I figured that it would be a waste to return it to the store! So instead I chose to wear it myself.' She focused her eyes on me by squinting. 'Got a problem with that?'

'No.' I walked up behind her to check what she was doing. To my surprise everything written on the (dot).htm file that I use to format the club's website is now completely erased. Wait, it may not be _completely_ erased yet. Haruhi's cursor was hovering just above the "Save Changes to Document" pop-up window. It appeared to me that she was deciding whether she should save the file deletion or not.

'Are you trying to delete the club's website?'

'There's no point in keeping this thing here. All of my members were just actors, useless ordinary actors.' Haruhi said as she placed the cursor over "Yes".

But I believed otherwise. I placed my hand over her hand over the mouse and placed it on "No". I pressed on Haruhi's finger and soon I undid Haruhi's deletion of the file's contents. After which I saved the file and closed the window. Haruhi looked up at me with mixed emotions. I said to her, '_I'm_ not an actor Haruhi.'

It took some time before Haruhi and I realized that we were being watched by the Asahina sisters. With this in mind Haruhi shrugged my hand away and said to the sisters. 'So, what are you two going to be doing now?' she didn't sound angry, in fact she sounded disappointed because of the fact that Asahina was going to leave us now. It's a little hard to tell but from my point of view Haruhi and Asahina did manage to form a sort of sisterly-bond during these past weeks.

'I'm going to continue studying here.' Asahina(small) said meekly.

'Really? Great!!' Haruhi stood up excitedly.

'B-But... I'm going to have to leave the club.' she closed her eyes as she waited for a violent reaction.

But instead Haruhi just said 'ok...' and sat back down calmly.

'But I can still come over from time to time! We can still hang around if you like but only if...' Asahina looked carefully at me. '...you're ok with it.'

'I would love to have you around...' I slowly said. 'Mikuru-chan...'

Mikuru smiled at me cutely. I was going to miss her cutesy and shy attitude. But then again the way that she was acting a while ago when Haruhi was forcing that costume on her made me think otherwise. Maybe she wasn't acting, maybe this is how Mikuru really was.

'Oh sha, oh sha...' Asahina-san(big) said followed with a sigh. 'Enough of this sentimental stuff, we better get going now.'

'What? Going where?' Haruhi asked anxiously.

'South Korea. My boyfriend has a match there and since my sister's the only person I have left I have to take her with me.' Asahina-san(big) told us.

'Oh ok. When will you guys be coming back?' Haruhi asked.

'Probably in around two weeks.'

'Excellent...' Haruhi covered her mouth and said.

'Hey Kyon... what's wrong?'

I found myself staring blankly at her. Though this probably isn't possible I just _have_ to ask. 'Do you mind me asking but... what's the name of your boyfriend?'

'Oh that.' she blushed as she placed her palms on her face. 'I can't tell you his real name but I can tell you his nickname... it's JoeKickass777.'

My jaw dropped at her mentioning of this. Exactly how old is Mikuru's sister? And exactly how old is Koizumi? Does that mean that, no, but she said it herself so it must be true. The point here is that there is a chance that Mikuru's sister is dating Koizumi. But, would the 5 year age gap be an obstacle in their relationship?

'Pst.' Haruhi pulled my face down next to her. She then whispered into my ear. 'I think Mikuru-chan's sister is a pedophile. That's Koizumi's IGN on Battle(dot).net, I play with him casually you know.'

I just nodded slowly.

'Huh?' Asahina(big) released herself from her own fantasy. She then nervously laughed out loud. 'I'm sorry, was I acting weird?'

'Very.' Haruhi and I said.

* * *

After the brief goodbyes I was left in the clubroom with Haruhi alone. With nothing to talk about the both of us just went ahead with our own personal business. Haruhi had dibs over the computer though so I was stuck with nothing to do. 'Ah! Maybe there's still some tea left.'

I got off my hard chair and I moved towards the thermos. I was quite thirsty so I just placed a cup beneath the thermos without filtering it first. But as I pressed the button to release the liquid nothing came out. I was disappointed, I was never going to get to drink Asahina-san's magically brewed tea for at least two weeks.

I sat down on a hard chair waiting for nothing. Come to think of it only one person hasn't come to say their goodbyes yet...

'Yo.'

I turned towards the door and I saw Nagato Yuki standing there. She wasn't wearing her glasses and a still, blank expression was on her face. She scanned the room carefully with her shallow eyes and... smiled? 'What's going on here? Are you two cosplaying...?'

'No...' I sat up and fixed myself. Turning to her I asked, 'So, what now? Are you going to be leaving like the rest?'

'Meh.' Yuki pulled herself a hard chair, spun it around and sat. 'But you guys are.'

'What!? You can't make us leave! I personally took this clubroom from you! I absorbed the literary club into my own and...' Haruhi stopped herself from saying anything more. She shook her head and said with her head down. 'I'm sorry, I'm still living in that fantasy world.' She then raised her head and smiled. 'Take care of the clubroom 'kay?'

Yuki stared at her for a moment. She then said, 'What are you talking about? The clubroom? You can _keep_ the clubroom.'

Question marks hovered above my head and Haruhi's. Nagato, what are you talking about? Did she just make a joke by making us think that we were somehow leaving? Probably.

'I just dropped by to thank you. If it wasn't for the both of you I wouldn't have been able to do the impossible, that is proving my uncle wrong.' Nagato said honestly. She smiled faintly at the both of us before turning around and heading towards the door. Wait! I haven't adjusted to this rapidly talking Nagato yet.

'Wait! Can't you stay for a while longer?' Haruhi insisted as she ran behind Nagato.

Nagato turned around and shook her head slightly. 'I cannot. Hans Himmler is my father and, we're going back to Germany since we have nothing left to do here in Japan.' Nagato sounded sincere with her words. Her eyes then lit up as she looked at Haruhi and I. 'And in fact, if I stayed I would probably be just intruding in your lives. Goodbye.' Nagato turned and she took a step forward but I said.

'Nagato wait! You're not intruding in our lives. You're _part_ of our lives now... the moment Haruhi found you seated alone here in the literature clubroom you became part of her life, and the moment I saw you you became part of _my_ life.'

'Well yes.' Yuki placed her hand slowly on the door. 'I know that I am part of your lives individually... what I'm saying is... I'll probably intrude your life together with... hahaha, what am I talking about, this is getting too sentimental! See you both!' she waved good bye as she ran out of the room.

Nagato, even though you were just acting this whole time I'll still cherish the time I had with you and the same goes for Asahina and Koizumi. But still, you could have at least left us a contact number.

'Pif...' Haruhi made that sound as she placed her hands on her waist. 'Well _that_ was a complete waste of my time. Seriously, wow. Thinking back... I never had the chance to say to them... thank you.'

I looked at Haruhi and thought, what now? You can't have a club with just two people, so should we disband Haruhi? Or are you planning to continue on your search with me as your personal lackey? Whatever choice you make though I'll always be here behind you. Honestly, I don't want my life to be monotonous and all that.

Haruhi noticed me looking at her and because of that she struck me with a serious glare but still managed to force a smile. 'Oh don't look at me like that, I'm not thanking _you._ _You're_ the reason on why I got into this situation in the first place! Stupid Kyon.' Haruhi huffed a breath of hot air.

* * *

This time I finally handed the SOS Brigade application form to the Student Council. But it got revoked immediately, the reason was as clear as the air that we breathed. It was because it only had two members in it. But this didn't stop Haruhi at all. In fact, Haruhi is still planning to continue her "Search for Mysterious Events" in town. But _that_ will be done next Saturday.

So why am I standing here in the old meeting place you ask? I am here for a personal reason. I looked at my watch. There were still thirty minutes before the meeting time. I had stood here for thirty minutes already; in other words, I have arrived an hour early. I didn't do this because I looked forward to the activity but rather because of the unwritten rule of whoever arrives last has to pay for the food. I didn't know if it still applied to situations like these though but I'm just being safe.

I lifted my head and saw a familiar figure, casually dressed. She probably never expected me to arrive so early, and stood stunned on the spot. She then sighed and smiled as she crossed the street to head towards me.

By now, I have many things I want to talk to her about, like what's going to happen to the SOS Brigade, what costume's she'll wear (if she plans), trying to have her talk to other classmates for once, and asking her what she thinks of Sigmund Freud's psychoanalysis.

However, I need a good topic before I can start a conversation with her.

Ah, I've already decided what to say. That's right, I've decided to ask...

...on why she chose to go out with me even though I'm not an alien, esper or time traveller...

**To be Continued...**

* * *

**Author's Notes:**

Well I'm not trying to accomplish anything awesome here but yeaah... I'm just bored with how monotonous my life is. So I decided to write fics for TMOSH again... hopefully this time around I've improved with understanding Kyon and Haruhi's personalities. (shifty eyes)

Side Note: Sorry for the slurred words and kinda crappy plot. It was a little rushed. (shifty eyes)

Click me?...v


	2. Stumbling on Stones Unturned

* * *

_Stumbling on Stones Unturned  
_

Before the incident Haruhi seemed to be the kind of person who shouldn't have any worries. But, she does. The fact that whatever it was that she believed in never really existed is what bothers her. Though she never really tells me this it's obvious on the way she acts.

Haruhi has always wished that Aliens, Ghosts, Time Travelers, Espers and Sliders existed. During those few months with Yuki, Mikuru and Koizumi even I was pushed into believing that they _did_ exist. But sadly it was all a hoax used to entertain the public media. Though it's a little hard to admit, I felt quite happy during those brief moments when I thought that Aliens, Time Travelers and Espers existed.

Haruhi on the other hand was never able to share this feeling with me. Probably though, that feeling only came to her when we were stuck in that "Closed Space" that she "generated". It was only at _that_ time that she experienced the joy of being in the presence of something extraordinary.

Now as I spend my time with Haruhi in the same cafe the Brigade used to visit everyday, I begin to understand more about how Haruhi feels about the world.

'Hey listen to me, I need to tell you something.'

'What is it?'

'Do you want to know which beings Yuki, Asahina and Koizumi all pretended to be?'

'This seems like an irrelevant topic but then again we have nothing else to discuss. Go ahead.' Haruhi took a sip of her smoking hot coffee.

'Actually, the three of them "revealed" themselves to be an alien, a time traveler and an esper.' I decided to play around with Haruhi for a while. 'Could you tell me your guesses on who they portrayed themselves to be?'

'What do you mean?'

'You know, guess who's who.'

'Oh ok.' Haruhi leaned back on her chair and thought. 'I would guess that Mikuru-chan was the Alien. Why you ask? Because her beauty is out of this world.'

Wrong. And what kind of reason is that?

'Now, Koizumi, Koizumi was the Time Traveler, how do I know this? Obviously because he was acting as the old fashioned guy. Therefore, he "came" from the past to the present.' Haruhi ran her fingers on the rim of the coffee cup she had in her hand.

'So what you're saying is that, Koizumi was a time-traveler from the past? Haruhi, if our technology isn't advanced enough today to make time travel possible today, what makes you think that they had the technology back _then_?'

'Simple, Koizumi is _also_ an alien... from the past...!' Haruhi looked unsure for a moment but then she continued, 'The Ancient Mayan People, the Egyptians, the guys who made Stone Henge etcetera, etcetera... all of those people in the past were so primitive that it was impossible for them to make those gigantic wonders that still stands here today... are you following?'

Kinda.

'So, the only way on how the Egyptians and the Mayans were able to make those gigantic pyramids was because of the help of an alien race.' Haruhi explained to me. 'And Stone Henge? They were influenced by an alien forerunner race that gave them access to gravity lifts that were able to carry those gigantic stones.' Haruhi nodded.

'Now do you understand Kyon? Mikuru-chan was the alien because of her extraordinarily cute looks. Koizumi was an alien **from the past** sent to the **future** for reasons unknown. Leaving Yuki...' Haruhi slowly drank her coffee as she shifted her eyes. I was a little anxious on what ridiculous explanation she was going to come up with now.

'Yuki was... a half-bred alien esper who traveled from the future to...' Haruhi twitched her eyebrows while she spoke, then slowly breathed in some air and sighed as she fell on the table. 'I don't know...' She was now lying before me motionless. Her hair was covering her face so I was unsure of what emotion she was showing. 'Why are you making me answer these things anyway?'

I grinned. 'I just felt like it. Anyway, let me correct your guesses. Yuki was the alien. Mikuru was the Time Traveler and Koizumi well, he was part of a squad of esper boys, whose soul purpose was to dispose of those blue giants that chased us back then.' I explained.

Haruhi slowly lifted her head. 'Oh... Ok.'

'Hmmm? Are you depressed or something?'

'...'

I knew it. Haruhi, I know that you're disappointed about the whole "surprise you're on candid camera" thing but this is a perfect opportunity for you to start a new life.

'...'

A life wherein you don't just go off randomly pursuing aliens, time travelers and espers. As I told you before; man just has to be content with what is in front of him. Going on chasing things that aren't there doesn't do anything to push human society and...

'**Screw that!**' I was caught off-guard with her sudden shout. It sounded like she was angry and the reason was obviously me. Rambling about believing in things that only exist before your eyes, what gave me the right to do that? What was I thinking? Even though what happened before was merely a hoax I know that not even that can stop Haruhi on her search for the unknown.

'Haruhi I...'

'Don't worry about it.' She slowly raised her head and she looked at me dazed. 'Sorry about the shout. I guess it's because... I'm still feeling a bit melancholic over the past events. Kyon.'

'The Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi.' I said to her.

Haruhi looked at me for a moment and then said. 'Well? Where should we go now?'

'I don't know...' I looked down at my coffee and sighed. The best thing to do now is to quickly change the topic.

**'I GOT IT!!**' Haruhi smacked her fist against the table sending droplets of coffee to my face. As I wiped the coffee from my face Haruhi declared, 'We're watching Cloverfield Kyon! It's being shown in a nearby cinema just two blocks from here!' I better not ask how she knew that.

'Let's go!' Haruhi ran out and waited for me at the automatic door with her arms crossed.

'Hey you were supposed to pay for this!' I shouted at her from my seat. 'You arrived late remember?'

Haruhi poked her head inside the restaurant and said in a desperate tone, as if wanting everyone else in the restaurant to hear what she was about to say. 'Oh my God Kyon, I did not know you were that kind of person... we're on a date aren't we? And now you're letting me, the girl pay? My, my Kyon, what would our fanbase say?'

'Fanbase what fanbase?' I fixed myself up as I stood.

'_That_ fanbase.' Haruhi pointed at a group of high schoolers seated in a corner of the restaurant. They all looked like punks, really, really angry punks. As their largest member turned to look at me I immediately reverted my vision back to Haruhi. I walked towards her with large strides and said to her ear. 'That is not a fanbase. They look more like serial rapists if you ask me.'

Haruhi blinked a few times and then said, 'Meh. Maybe we're their guilty pleasure... I mean other than raping, if that's what you're saying.'

Then as if on cue a tall waiter appeared behind me and patted my shoulder to catch my attention. He coughed once before he showed me an open palm with the bill inside it. I can't believe this atrocity that Haruhi has committed yet again. But at least I got to her emotional side. I took out my wallet and paid the exact amount to the waiter.

* * *

The next Monday Haruhi proved to me that she hasn't given up on her dreams yet. Before classes started Haruhi and I were having yet another one of our conversations.

'Wait...' I said. '...so you're saying to me that you want the both of us to fill up _all_ of the roles of the Brigade members?'

'Yup.' Haruhi gave an exaggerated nod. She then leaned over her desk and placed a finger on my nose. 'There are a total of 5 roles to fill up. It's quite simple really, we just divide the roles between you, and me.' She smiled as she pulled back. 'Simply put, you will be fulfilling the roles of the two males while I will be fulfilling the role of the three females.'

Accompanied with flashy hand movements Haruhi began explaining to me her idea. '_You_ will be playing the roles of Deputy Chief...' wow Deputy Chief, that would actually be a noble rank if not for the fact that there are only two members. 'And you will also be playing the role of Chore Boy.'

I don't know what look I had on my face then but Haruhi simply said. 'What's wrong? It's natural in organizations to make the lower ranks do all the menial tasks. Now let me continue...' Haruhi breathed in some air before saying. 'Now, _I_ will be playing the following roles: (1) Brigade Leader slash Ultra Director - this person is in charge of **everything**. I also have to be very eccentric and random...'

'...which you already are.' I added.

'And aside from that, I will also play as (2) The Cute Innocent Mascot Girl...' Haruhi was balancing her pen on her lips as she explained this to me.

'Haruhi, how do you plan to be the eccentric director _and_ the cute mascot girl at the same time?'

Haruhi looked at me with puppy-dog eyes and said in a high-pitched voice. 'I-I'm cute r-right?' She managed to let some tears faintly flow from her eyes and she forced herself to blush. I was speechless. This could possibly be the rarest event the world has ever seen, and I'm here witnessing it. Oh how lucky I am.

'What?' Haruhi snapped at the people behind me. I turned around and saw a jaw-dropped Taniguchi and an equally surprised Kunikida. Haruhi quickly made them leave with a quick throw of a notebook.

What was that about?

'Nothing.' Haruhi sat back down and looked at me. 'Now... Oh yeah my final role is...' With her eyes rapidly shifting in both directions Haruhi said to me. '...the silent character.'

I instinctively moved my hand while asking, 'How are you supposed to do that?'

Haruhi continued shifting her eyes around rapidly and said, 'I... don't know.' After hearing her say that I wanted to smack my head hard on her table. Clearly, she has no idea what she's talking about. And clearly, her plans for the future are all but clear.

'Hey I have an idea. Why don't we suspend this "I want to get my club back together" routine? I mean you seem pretty stressed out Haruhi. People often make fatal mistakes if they're not at their best state of being.'

'Unacceptable!' she slammed her fist against her desk. 'That's what they want us to do!'

They?

'Yes, _they._' Haruhi waved her finger around in the air as she explained angrily. 'Ghosts, Espers and whatnot _want_ us to discover them. Obviously Kyon, they are as excited as us.' What proof do you have of this anyway? 'But they're not going to just sit there and wait for us to come to them! They want to give us a challenge because they... they're playing hard to get.'

So they're just like you eh?

'Exactly.'

'No. But still...' I leaned forward and placed an open palm on Haruhi's face. 'We're not going to be able to accomplish anything if you act all restless and random Haruhi. If you want to get something done, you have to act calm and concise so that you won't screw everything up for yourself.'

Haruhi looked still into my eyes and I looked back into hers. If you're thinking that this was going to result into yet another kiss well you're wrong. This was more of a staring contest as opposed to a stare that would lead into a lip-lock. Haruhi's eyes told me "Screw you Kyon! I'm going to do what I want." while my eyes told her the opposite- That you can't have everything that you want, you're no longer a god Haruhi. In fact I'm actually relieved at the fact that I don't have to babysit her anymore into always staying happy and jolly otherwise the world will end. But still, I'm not the type of person that would leave Haruhi to act on her own.

Haruhi still tried to convince me that she was right through her piercing stare but in the end she chose go gave up. 'Sigh... fine. Let's just reorganize two weeks from now.'

Right.

'But I can't think of anything to pass the time though...' Haruhi said to the birds fluttering outside.

'I can suggest something.' a girl who stood behind me said to us. I turned around and saw Ryoko Asakura... My instincts quickly told me to jump off my seat and prepare to leap out of the window. I even went to as far as shouting out her name because of gripping fear.

'**R-RYOKO!!**'

'What?' she tilted her head and pouted. She then smiled and closed her eyes. She waved her hand in the air as she said, 'Oh, hehe, you're probably traumatized about that event. Am I correct?'

'Like hell yes I am!' My feet carried me to stand behind Haruhi.

'Well, isn't it a relief to find out that it was all a hoax and I really _didn't_ want you to die?' she said idly.

Well I guess it was a relief to know that somebody wasn't out to get me in my sleep, but that doesn't change the fact that you tried to cut me up with a kitchen knife! And you were smiling and laughing back then, that dramatically increased the scare factor!

'I'm sorry for that then.' she said sincerely as she bowed her head. She then reached in her bag and pulled out...

'Th-The murder weapon!' I shouted at the knife she held in her hands. The knife she held looked exactly like the knife that she used on that sick act of hers, in fact I think that **is** the knife that she used. It even has some blood stains on its tip!

'I...' she stepped forward.

Chair, chair, chair, I need to find a chair.

'I wanted to give this to you as a souvenir.' she offered the knife towards me, its handle faced towards me. I looked down at the sharp blade and I felt my legs weaken.

I took out my handkerchief and I wiped my forehead of the sweat that trickled down. 'I'm sorry, I-I can't... I would prefer to just forget about the whole affair and if I kept that as a trophy... the traumatic event would just keep haunting my dreams.'

'Oh... is that so?' Ryoko motioned to return the blade into her bag but Haruhi quickly snatched it away from her.

'IF YOU don't mind.' Haruhi said to her. '_I_ would like to keep it.'

Ryoko watched Haruhi juggle the blade with one hand (this was making me uncomfortable) and said, 'Sure.'

Haruhi continued throwing the blade into the air and catching it with one hand until finally she said to Ryoko. 'What are you still doing here? Have something to say?'

'Yes.' Ryoko nodded. 'As an act of goodwill from Sakura TV they are offering the participants of the said experiment a full-expense paid trip to a private island villa in the south. I am here inviting the both of you to join us.'

'Us? You were an actor not a subject.' Haruhi asked.

Ryoko shook her head slowly. 'Despite being the actor assigned to scare Kyon into submission...' I have the sudden urge to suck my thumb. 'I was also a victim of this charade. We actors were not informed of the true purpose of our acting until the final moments after all.'

I understand.

'Also, because of this Taniguchi and I were the first to experience the "Adam and Eve" scene.' Ryoko then snickered to herself a few words. Though I didn't hear this clearly I think she just cussed about Taniguchi leaving her during the blue giant incident.

'I thought Taniguchi's partner was named Kyoko?' I asked.

'He just mispronounces it. So? Will the both of you be going?' Asakura held her hands together as if praying and pled, 'Pleeaase?'

Haruhi turned around and looked at me. She then looked at me slowly from head to toe and smiled. I finally got the nerve to ask, 'What are you doing?'

'Imagining you in a swim trunks.' Haruhi said as she turned back to Ryoko. With her hands stretched and placed on Asakura's shoulders Haruhi said. 'Only if Kyon's going.'

Ryoko looked at me and winked.

I groaned aloud right before I said. 'Fine. I'll go.' In fact, this is a perfect opportunity to relax and recollect my thoughts with Haruhi right?

* * *

That Saturday news spread around the campus of my little weekend escape with Haruhi. And upon finding out that each of the couples were going to share rooms the campus got even rowdier. Haruhi, who was as confident as always, always found a way to dismiss whatever claims girls said to her. However I was unable to do that.

So now here, as I await the ferry to arrive I appear tired both physically and emotionally. Physically because Haruhi made me carry all of her bags and emotionally because of the hundreds of questions thrown at me by the male population of my school. I lowered one of the suitcases and I sat on a nearby wooden pillar in the bridge. While Haruhi was anxiously waiting for the ferry to come I figured that this was the perfect time to observe the way she looked.

Haruhi slid her shades down and gazed in the distance. Her dark silky hair flew in the sea breeze as she stood by edge of the boarding dock. She was wearing casual clothes but her beauty still managed to radiate. She was wearing a short-sleeved white blouse with a matching miniskirt. As the wind blew her skirt slowly revealed more and more of her white legs-- I chose to immediately look away after that.

'Such a huge ship! Don't you agree Kyon? Wonder how this thing floats in water.' Haruhi said, oblivious to my staring.

'Upward water pressure pushing on the bottom of a boat causes the boat to float. Basically here it is done in a much larger scale.' a tall person stood beside Haruhi, he lowered his shades revealing his brilliant blue eyes. The man looked down at Haruhi then he took a quick glance at me. 'It's nice to meet you both. Let me introduce myself, my name is Zack Adrianne Knight. Also note, that this is only my alias, I'll probably tell you my real name in due time.'

Wait, that was the introduction? This seems familiar...

'Zack? That sounds like a foreign name to me.' Haruhi asked curiously.

'Not exactly, More of a half-blood.' he pushed back his shades with a graceful push from his index finger. He then looked at the both of us and said, 'Kyon and Suzumiya-san am I correct? If my assumption is correct you were the first couple who was chosen in the social experiment. Also, if not for the both of you then the world's perspective of the teenagers of today wouldn't have changed.' he said formally.

Judging by the way Zack talked I could say that he probably came from a noble family. But his clothing countered that theory as he dressed casually like everyone else. Zack continued with his speech of formality when suddenly a pair of feet come flying from nine o'clock.

'I hope we all become good fr-- **BOOM** --MOTHER OF JESUS CHRIST!!' Zack screamed at the top of his lungs as he flew head first into the cold waters of Tokyo Bay. Haruhi moved back in shock and I nearly fell off my post.

'That's for making me carry all your luggage!' a girl shouted as she leaned over the harbor to look at Zack who was struggling to stay afloat on the water. She was more of sexy than cute with her hourglass body and how should I say this? A bust size similar to (if not larger than) Asahina-san. Her long pink hair flew with the wind as her blue eyes starred down on Zack.

Then from the edge of the wooden platform I saw a pair of fingers clinging on for dear life. I was supposed to go and help but then suddenly Zack manages to pull himself up with just one hand. Not only that! He was even able to jump up on the platform, **only** with the use of his one arm. He then proceeded to shouting fierce insults at the girl in the face. I found this to be inappropriate so I had the urge to intervene. But then Haruhi said, 'Looks like they're having fun. With all of this arguing I mean.' So I chose not to continue.

'Miyon, Zack stop embarrassing yourselves.' a girl dressed in casual clothing walked in while being followed by a white haired man. She had green eyes and black hair tied in a ponytail. (Author's Note: Kyon is prolly marking out right now). 'You both are the eldest among us here so you should be acting the most civilized.' the girl commented. Her entrance gave off an aura of feared authority.

Zack opened his mouth and said... 'Oh go suck a c--' ...only to be quickly kicked back into the ocean by the girl he was arguing with. The pink haired girl was now out of breath as she turned to look at me. After breathing slowly to calm herself she bowed and said to me. 'My name is Miyon Kyuki, 18 years old, it's nice meeting you.'

Just as Haruhi and I were supposed to answer back Zack quickly launches himself back on the dock. While bowing like an Englishman Zack honored us by saying, 'Zack Knight, aged 19, it is an honor meeting you.'

The emerald-eyed girl followed. 'Miromi Hayashibara, aged 17, this is a pleasure.'

Haruhi and I then looked at her silent companion. I don't think he's paying attention to anyone because he hasn't moved from his spot since he's arrived here. He had white hair and red eyes, he was also wearing a pair of thin glasses that probably helped his eyesight. He was reading a book, namely the Christian Bible. His emotionless face reminded me so much of Nagato... before she revealed that she was an actress of course.

'Hey.' Miromi gave him a nudge. 'Intro, now.'

The mysterious man slowly closed his book and fixed his glasses. Briefly he said, 'I am Kira Verily, do not let my name confuse you, I am pure Japanese. My last name is simply named after Jesus' translation of the word "Amen" in the Old Testament. I am aged 17 by the way.' After running out of words to say he simply ended his intro with, 'May God Bless you all. Amen.'

We were all now silent. He seems like a pretty calm person, despite the fact that his first name means anger.

After the rather surprising introduction from Kira we all finally decided to get aboard the ship which just landed a few moments ago. Haruhi and Zack led the pack with their powerful eccentricity and Miromi followed behind them, the rest of us were lagging behind since we were all carrying everybody else's luggage. I had wanted to help Miyon carry the bags but Haruhi's items combined with mine were already too much of a burden. Kira appeared to have superhuman strength as he carried a gigantic suitcase on his shoulder while his other hand supported the book he read.

Upon reaching the end of the seemingly endless ramp the cool ocean air brushed against my face. I let go of the bags feeling the strain release itself.

'I'm sorry... for making you carry all of these things. It was insensitive of me for allowing you to go through all that pain.' I looked up and I saw Zack talking to Miyon. Damnit, these two are just trying to get me jealous.

Miyon looked up at her partner with teary eyes but then the college student grinned mischievously. 'But then again, I consider this as punishment for repeatedly kicking me into the water a while ago.'

'Bastard.'

'Yep, but I'm _your_ bastard.' Zack said as he kissed Miyon's forehead. He then took the bags in his arms and carried them off. I could easily tell that Zack was the dominant person in this coupling. Looking around I saw that in each of the chosen couplings one was always the dominant one whose persona influenced the personality of the other. Or something like that. I observed Miromi and Kira, it was obvious to me that Miromi was the dominant one since Kira appeared very passive with his Bible. I wonder which one's dominant between Taniguchi and Ryoko...

'KYON!! Come here! I want to show you something!' Haruhi signaled me from the distance. I gave a long sigh. At least I know who's the dominant one between me and Haruhi.

Upon reaching Haruhi (who was kneeling behind a pillar) I knelt beside her and asked. 'What is it?'

Haruhi pointed ahead and I saw Taniguchi and Ryoko standing near the bow of the boat. The both of them seemed perfectly silent and I wondered what was going on. 'What are you two doing here?' Miromi said as she placed her hand on my shoulder. Soon enough everybody began gathering behind me just to observe what was going on between Taniguchi and Ryoko.

'What's this a confession of love?' Haruhi commented, she then turned to me. 'See Kyon, at least he does it in the open. Unlike you, you closet freak.'

What are you talking about? You were the one that dragged me in the infirmary, locked the door and _forced_ me to confess! And it's not like it mattered where I confessed, you still said yes anyway.

'Wow... she _forced_ you to confess?' Zack said behind us. 'Even _I_ couldn't pull that off.' After a while he said. 'I love you Haruhi.' After hearing those words I immediately heard a loud thud behind me. It turns out that Miyon just attacked him with a nearby chair.

'Shuuuush...!' Haruhi raised a hand and soon everybody was quite. Taniguchi began talking now. 'Damnit I can't hear anything! Kyon do something!'

What do you expect me to do? Somehow develop superhuman hearing?

'Good enough. Develop them now!'

I ignored Haruhi and instead I attempted to listen in on what was going on. Unfortunately, the noise that Zack and Miyon generated behind me made that task difficult. But it looks like I won't need to do that anymore. I watched as Taniguchi slowly revealed a bouquet of flowers to Ryoko. I heard Zack whistle a comment behind me. Taniguchi slowly offered the flowers to Ryoko and I could sense a slight blush in Ryoko's face. She was just about to take flowers into her arms when suddenly... the strong ocean breeze blew them off the ship.

'Epic...' Zack commented cruelly. '...fail.'

Taniguchi screamed as he watched the bouquet fly in the wind and drown in the ocean. I can only imagine how disappointed Taniguchi was, I could not imagine how long it took for Taniguchi to gather enough guts to do something like that. We should give them some space...

'THAT WAS AN UTTER DISAPPOINTMENT!' Haruhi shouted as she walked over towards the timid couple. I ran after her thinking that this was the end of everything. 'And to think that I thought that this was going to be preferably better over whatever the entertainment on this ship was going to be!'

'Su-Suzumiya-san?' Ryoko said a little nervous, but then her tone of voice returned. 'You made it!' Ryoko said happily as if she just shrugged off Taniguchi's confession. I walked beside Taniguchi who was still pondering over his lost flowers and placed a hand on his back. He was completely silent and so I chose to back away slowly to leave him alone.

* * *

After the captain announced that the trip would approximately take two to three hours everybody just decided to relax for a while. At this moment everybody was seated on the deck, the girls were playing cards while the rest of us were left with our own business. Zack with annoying Miyon, Kira with his Bible, Taniguchi with his staring-out-into-the-ocean-looking-emo and I was left with my own thoughts.

'Hey did you guys know that Nagato convinced the actors to come and visit as well?' Miyon brought up the topic while Zack attempted to balance various objects on her head.

'Really...' Haruhi said as she shuffled the cards masterfully like a casino dealer.

'Hey Kyon.' Zack told me as he placed a 6-pack of beer on Miyon's head. 'I think your Haruhi is a lesbian or at least bi.'

'What... are you talking about?' Miyon said while she fixed her hand.

'Exactly.' Zack nodded. 'Anyway, do you know why I think she's a lesbain?' (not a typo)

I chose to just look away, whatever he said was probably going to be retarded. 'It's because she keeps taking glances at Miyon...' he added. '...particularly her chest area.'

'That's probably because...' I looked slowly at Haruhi then she quickly hit me with a glare. What's wrong? Because of that glare I chose to let my words hover in the air. After all I wasn't exactly sure if she was simply jealous of her bust size.

'So if that's the case.' Zack placed his arms around Miyon and he snuggled close to her. Zack then said to her though everyone else could clearly hear, 'If you ever get any lesbian urges I am giving you the GO signal.'

'What!?' she asked.

'What I'm saying is, if you ever find yourself in a room alone with Haruhi, I expect you to give me a call and invite me to watch.'

Silence.

'PERV!!' Miyon demonstrated incredible strength out of anger as she flipped Zack over her shoulder into the table, breaking the table in half. Everybody jumped back because of surprise, except maybe Kira, he was too busy reading.

'Oh my are you alright?' Ryoko asked concerned, Zack gave her a thumb up and said, 'Never better.'

Haruhi slowly walked away and sighed. Why was she sighing? Is it because of the unfamiliar people that we're with? She was never the sociable person so that might be the reason. But then she turned to the south and shouted 'There it is!' She ran ahead and leaned over the edge of the ship just to get a closer look. She used her hand to shield her eyes from the sun and to watch the island appear from the horizon.

'I can see a manor in the distance... Kyon come here and take a lo-lo-- whoa- whoaaa...!' Haruhi shouted as she leaned a little too far over the ship. I quickly ran behind her and wrapped my hands around her waist to keep her from falling. As if ignoring my worried gesture Haruhi continued, 'Isn't it beautiful? I hope Mikuru-chan and the rest are already there, I'm plotting something that involves that Miyon girl.' she snickered.

I watched the island appear from afar. The ferry slowly moved towards it and it was slowly crawling towards us from the horizon. The island appeared majestic and beautiful with its lush forests and rare isolation from the world. As my eyes focused on holding Haruhi tighter I began to imagine what experiences we were going to have on that island.

I feel a lone island syndrome coming up...

**To Be Continued...**

* * *

**Author's Note:**

Yay chapter two! That is all. I would like everyone to give me a review because your reviews fuel my passion!! (God that sounded cheesy)

Also, comment on the new characters. Since they've just been introduced it's hard to make them really shine. Though hopefully in the following chapters I will be able to achieve that. Did I mention I want you to review?

Quick Edit:  
I'll explain those things Daisuke in the next chapter _(facepalm)_  
Because if I bothered explaining all of those things in this chapter it would get too long.


	3. If there's a Pensive Fear

_If there's a Pensive Fear, a man must Learn to Cope  
_

The island was as picturesque as I imagined it to be, the dancing palm trees, the inviting white beach and the pleasant people waiting for us at the foot of the ship all made me feel at ease and at the same time excited. Haruhi was also as shocked and awed as I was. Just as the both of us were enjoying the view Zack behind us begins singing "My Heart Will Go On".

Haruhi turned her head and looked at me. I looked at her with an eyebrow raised. After more staring Haruhi slowly looked down at the position we were in. She was leaning over the edge of the ship and I was behind her with my hands around her waist. Upon this realization I quickly let go and stepped back worried of what she was going to do with me.

Haruhi flushed slightly as she dusted herself. She coughed calmly and said to me, 'Go get our luggage it's time...'

'Yes, your Highness.' I bowed in the same manner a knight would when kneeling before his queen. I then stood and headed for the place where I left our luggage.

In the docks we were met by a butler and a maid. Before I could make my comment Kyuki-san said behind me, 'Hey I thought that the actors were going to be here too. Those bastards they lied to us again.'

'Good afternoon gentlemen...' the butler slowly scanned the people before him. '...and ladies. Allow me to introduce ourselves, you may address me as Arikawa-san and this young lady right here, Mori-san. We are not the only ones in charge of taking care of the guests in actuality there are more of us back at the manor. Now would you kindly follow...' the middle-aged man turned and walked down a marked path towards the manor.

On the way to the mansion we were met with a hill far too similar to the hill at school. Upon climbing the hill my legs began feeling numb and my arms were weakening due to the weight of the luggage I carried. Sweat trickled down to my eyes as I tried to catch up with the rest of the group. Add to this the unbearable heat brought about by the sun who was directly above us. I looked ahead and I wanted to ask for help but my throat was too dry. My vision was also getting blurry, in a matter of seconds the people who once appeared before me now look like mist.

'Kyon!' her majesty's voice said to me as her misty figure ran towards me. As she came closer her image cleared and I could see the cold water drink that Haruhi held in her hand. She opened the half empty bottle and she let me drink from it. 'You alright?'

'Much better.' I said after finishing. She then took the bottle away, placed it in her bag and walked off.

'Hurry up then!' she demanded. Helping me would make this easier for the both of us! Nonetheless, the water that Haruhi gave was a welcome refreshment. Though my body was still tired and weak at least now my vision has somewhat returned. The manor was becoming visible again as we reached the top of the hill.

Upon arrival to the manor's great gates I was greeted with very familiar faces. 'Kyon-kun!!' Her voice was as lovely as ever and her face was still as beautiful. Asahina-san runs towards me with small unsteady steps, as if my arrival was enough to shock her into moving this way. She quickly wraps her hands around me and she looks up at me with teary eyes.

'I missed you too.' I lowered Haruhi's bags and wiped the tears off Asahina's eyes. 'I thought that you and your sister were going to go to South Korea for Koizumi's tournament or something...?'

'Why don't you ask him yourself.' Haruhi said hoarsely as she suddenly appeared standing beside me.

Asahina realized that she was hugging me in front of Haruhi so she immediately pushed me back while jumping away herself. She bowed down with her hands holding her skirt and apologized, 'I-I'm sorry, Suzumiya-san.'

Haruhi looked at her scowling then as if night turning into day her frown fades away into a wide smile. 'Mi-ku-ru-cha--n...!' Haruhi said as she embraced Asahina tightly. Haruhi placed her head over Asahina's shoulders as if not wanting to let go. Asahina looked to be taken in surprise as she slowly raised her hands to hug Haruhi back.

'Suzumiya-san, I'm also glad that we can see each other again b-b-but wha-what are you doing!?' Asahina screamed as Haruhi began unbuttoning her blouse from behind. Asahina screamed and struggled as Haruhi began undressing her here and there. The rest of us were merely forced to watch as a sense of nostalgia came over all of us. Who knows the other couples must have done the same things to her.

'Come on hurry and take your clothes off! Kyon and I bought something for you to wear!!'

'K...Kyaaaa!!'

Just behind the two girls acting like sisters were two more familiar figures. Koizumi and Asahina(big) were walking towards us. Before greeting the other couples the two of them instinctively walked over towards me. Though the couples might have felt a little disappointed by this it was no longer my business.

Koizumi took a step forward and revealed that marvelous smile of his. He opened his arms and gestured for me to walk in and do the same. But instead of engaging in a close hug with a person of the same gender I simply chose to offer my hand for a hand shake.

Koizumi pouted as he lowered his hands yet moments later his smile comes back. He then takes my hand and shakes it, 'How's it been?'

'Good. What about you...' I looked carefully at Asahina-san(big). '...guys?'

'My, my this is quite the surprise. I never knew that you would be interested in us like this Kyon-kun.' Asahina(big) said as she took our hands into hers. 'You haven't changed one bit.'

It's just been a few days what do you expect? People don't change in a mere few days. And also, I am quite interested in the relationship of a 20 year old to a person several years younger.

'Hey Taniguchi, I bet you're getting a boner looking at Koizumi eh?'

'Wh-What!?'

'Eh? Wink, wink, nudge, nudge?'

'Shut up! I told you that it was all a mistake!'

'Oh boohoo, why don't you cry your heart out in Koizumi's manly shoulders.' Zack said as he taunted Taniguchi cruelly. Before I could turn and hopefully stop this cruel act of his he immediately walks over to us and smacks Koizumi heavily on the back. 'Yoooooooooooooo...! How's my little StarLeaguer?'

Koizumi cringed in pain as he said slowly, 'I'm not doing well, I got eliminated in the preliminaries.'

'How so?'

'Zerg rush.'

'Hah, I hate those things.' Zack pouted and thought. Moments later he engages in a healthy jolt of laughter with Koizumi. He then turns to Asahina-san(big) and growls. 'Hey there smexy.'

Asahina-san focuses her eyes on him and pouts. She places her hands on her waist and turns away with her head. Zack says, 'I see you haven't changed a bit, you still hate me don't you?'

And so with the greetings set aside Arikawa-san motions us to follow him into the large manor. Haruhi restrains herself off Mikuru as she leaves her on the ground slightly petrified. One of the other girls helps her to her feet and they walk off together. I was soon thrown into a discussion about boardgames with Koizumi and Zack. Asahina(big) helped her sister make her way to the mansion all the while we were all feeling a sense of anticipation.

We all stopped before the doors of the mansion, curious of what was behind this ancient wood. The antique hinges creaked at the door's slow movements. Behind the door was a dark hallway, the light within its walls only came from the half open windows. I could sense that some of us were hesitating because of this seemingly uninviting hallway. Haruhi on the other hand leaps into the room shouting, 'OHAAAAA!!' (Probably trying to greet a good morning)

On a side note, it's the afternoon.

Her voice echoes through the hallway but nothing really happens. After a while an awe inspiring musical tone plays through from within the walls of the dark and gripping hallway. A massive chandelier above lights up into a beautiful rainbow of colors as the window shades open slowly as if in sync with the activation of the chandelier above them. The atmosphere lightens at the presence of neatly lined up maids and butlers at both sides of the staircase.

The men were dressed in neatly pressed black tuxedos and the ladies were dressed in long gowned French outfits that put Asahina's maid outfit into shame. Within the hallway lay beautiful antique woodworks and furnitures. In the near corners of the estate were paintings and artifacts that withstood the test of time. Miyon and Miromi shouted out a high pitched, 'Sugoi-!' Zack reacted to the sight with a whistle while Kira continued on with his reading.

'This is... wow...' Ryoko said while turning to Koizumi. 'I wish I came here with you guys instead of coming with the rest so I had more time to explore these rarities.' Asakura revealed a marvelous smile that sent goosebumps through my skin. Behind her though Taniguchi coughed as if a fly just went into his mouth or as if Ryoko said something that offended him. 'Taniguchi-chan what's wrong?'

'(Cough) Noth- (Cough) Nothing.' Taniguchi forced a painful smile.

Do my eyes deceive me or is Ryoko surprised and scared? She really does appear worried about Taniguchi's health and I wonder if how much she truly cares about him. Furthermore why am _I _not panicking over Taniguchi's sudden state of weakness. 'Hey Taniguchi are you alright?'

'Yeah, don't worry about it.' Taniguchi said dramatically, "dramatically" to the point that he made Asakura cover her mouth in fear.

'He's probably acting like that because he thinks that you would rather come in with the actors as opposed to coming with him. Am I right?' Kira lowered his glasses and smiled at Taniguchi and Ryoko. He is far too different from the silent bibliophile, Nagato. Though generally a quiet person his silence doesn't compare to Nagato's manikin-like silence.

'What that is _not_ the reason!!' Taniguchi protested as a blush line crossed his face. Ryoko acted as if she wanted to do something to remove this stress from her but before she could do anything something heavy hits me at the back of my head.

'Leave the LUVBERDS alone you bullies!' Haruhi said as she leaped up from behind me. 'Now Kyon, let's move... to the suite!' Haruhi pointed ahead with her finger like a general ordering her army to storm the front. She rode my shoulders like a cowboy with her arm across my forehead and her legs around my neck. 'Did you not hear your dear empress? Move it slavey.'

'I can't see anything! Your arm's too low it's covering my eyes!!'

'That's the challenge Kyon! Along with the fact that you have to carry my luggage while carrying me on your shoulders of course. Now enough talk, more carrying, hike! HIKE! HIKE!!'

Instead of complaining (which would lead to probably a punishment or something) I chose to instead just follow her unjust orders. Mustering all of my strength I managed to take a step forward. But after that I could move no longer. Her luggage was slowing me down too much. But luckily my burden was lightened when a butler and a maid comes to aid me. I gave them a complimenting smile as I continue my painful journey up the flight of stairs.

'Pardon the master sir.' a butler in his 20s said to me. 'He hasn't arrived yet, but before his arrival he has already entrusted his mansion to his guests. Please enjoy your time here.'

'Hey Kyon.' Haruhi said as she placed both of her hands on my head. 'I feel lonely.'

I stopped walking, are my ears mocking me? Haruhi Suzumiya _the_ Haruhi Suzumiya is feeling down? If she was the person Koizumi, Mikuru and Nagato claimed her to be then Koizumi would be having his hands full fighting off those giants of hers. If she feels down and she actually tells me about it as well then that means she's _really_ down. 'What's wrong? Haruhi?'

'I... want to see... Nagato!!' Haruhi shouted at the sight of Nagato walking slowly down the staircase. Her eyes were fixed on a book but moments later her attention shifts to the really loud person shouting on my head. A faint smile appears on her doll-like face and she mutters Haruhi's name weakly to herself.

I was happy to see her again but luckily I am still able to contain myself. Haruhi on the other hand leaps off my head while humming a song far too familiar to me. Haruhi intimidatingly walks up to Nagato and this forces her to take a step back as a precaution. Haruhi pouts and places her hands on her hips, 'Yuki...'

'The integrated data entity appears hostile towards me. I must... oh my...' she said with a toneless voice. '...look over there... it's... it's... an alien.' her voice sounded as emotionless as it used to be and yet Haruhi still manages to believe her.

She turns away from Nagato while shouting. 'Where is it? Where is it? Is it invisible or something? Do you have infrared vision or something Nagato? Nagato?' Haruhi turns around and she finds... absolutely nothing. 'Where the blazes did she go? Kyon!?' I pointed at the fleeing Nagato in the distance. Haruhi simply screams, 'Get back here I have to tell you something!!' but Nagato ignores this and just continues running away. If only I could do this, too bad I'm in too close of a relationship with Haruhi.

With a long sigh I limped over to my room, choosing simply to ignore whatever was going to happen to everyone else. I'm already too tired to endure any more of this.

* * *

So what came next... ah yes, the dinner with the cast and crew of Candid Camera Japan. This was supposed to be a simple dinner around a table but apparently Nagato (or whoever was in charge) chose to stretch the said event into a formal ball. And what's worst was that the ball had a European theme. Though this was an unwelcome sudden change on my side everybody else didn't seem to complain (including Haruhi). This is due to the fact that everybody except for me seems to always be prepared for everything. Even for something as sudden as this. With this realization I quickly thought to myself, "Did I bring any formal clothing?"

The short answer was: "No."

The Long answer was: "Hell no, you're screwed so you better go around and ask if anyone has a free pair of tux you can burrow."

With a long sigh I chose to go next door. I don't really know who's my neighbor so I'm taking quite the risk here. I knocked slowly on the door and I heard a calm "Come in." from inside. I opened the door and I saw a shirtless Zack. 'Hey Kyon, what is it?'

'I... I was wondering...' Man, this is embarrassing. I mean it's surprising enough that the others were able to bring a pair of formal clothing. But what are the odds of them bringing **two** pairs. 'Do you have any an extra pair of tux, alternatively a suit?'

Zack chuckled for a moment then he opened the door completely. 'Come in, choose from my wide array of European clothing.' He opened a nearby closet and I was taken back by the sheer number of clothing he had. 'I'm going to go and take a shower now, take your time man.'

This is a complete surprise, I really should be thanking him. In fact, why in the world does he have a whole closet full of suits and tuxedos? What a weird guy. But then again, this is a good thing on my part so I began to scan through his "wide array of European clothing" with nothing particular in mind. As I was scanning a suit accidentally falls to the ground and as I bend over to pick it up I notice someone lying on the bed unconscious.

'Aaaaah!!'

Immediately the unconscious person on the bed springs to life with a, 'Wha-What?' Miyon was lying naked on the bed, her body barely covered with the blanket, she was drowsily looking around for the source of the noise. She eventually finds me staring at her hourglass naked body and her soft skin and gah-- you read nothing. She pulls back her hair and says, 'Oh, it's just you.' she looks down on herself and immediately blushes, rushing more blankets to cover skin. 'What are you doing here?'

'I was just...' I pointed to the tuxedo on my hand while forcing myself to not look at her.

'You were just...' she concluded her sentence with a scream. '...stealing Zack's clothing!!'

'What!? No! That's not it!'

While watching me panic Miyon suddenly falls back laughing her heart out. What was going on? She then springs back up with tears of laughter in her eyes. 'I was joshing.'

Joshing?

'Joking.' she answered. 'Zack taught me that word. I never really got what it meant but yeah... hehe, by the way are you done choosing?'

I looked at the tuxedo in my hand. It was a shade of black and blue but I guess it looked ok. I never was a fashion expert so I wouldn't know if this would make a statement or not however I would rather not waste any more time on such a menial matter. 'I'll just take this one. Give Zack my thanks.'

'Kay!'

* * *

Upon arriving in our room I decided to refresh myself with a shower. With my shirt already off and my pants halfway down I heard an all-too-familiar scream of "Oh my God!" from a girl I knew all too well from the other side of the room. 'I'm sorry to walk in on you like this Kyon!' she said, a mere towel covering her body.

'D-Don't worry about it.' I leaped about the room trying to keep my pants on. I looked away blushing, 'I'm sorry, you- are you done with the shower?'

'Ye--p! You should hurry up and go next, there's only like five minutes left. Hurry up and get to the shower I need to change.' Haruhi sounded jolly for some reason. However I had no longer time to ponder on her emotions. The bathroom, the bathroom, fly me to the bathroom so that I may release myself from this grip of temptation!

After struggling with the shower malfunctioning for about an hour (I'm exaggerating of course) I looked down at the floor with water trickling from my naked body into the drains, a feeling crept through my body... though this feeling comes rarely to me... I wonder what this could mean. I breathed a sigh of relief, white smoke comes from my mouth and disappears into the air. I have a feeling that something unexpected is going to happen. Whatever may come, I hope that I may still be able to keep my composure.

'Kyo-on hurry up! I received a text message from the other girls saying that we're the only ones who aren't there yet.'

Understood. Walking out of the shower I saw Haruhi dressed elegantly in a black gown, though the gown's design appears simple, it's amazing how she can carry anything she wears. Yet another of those small things I appreciate about her. What am I doing? I'm sounding like a love-struck school boy, snap yourself out of it Kyon.

'It's nice to see that you're dressed for the occasion, now get out of the room so I can change.'

'Oooh, yes sir.' Haruhi said as she saluted me right before leaving the room. What's with this sudden bolt of jolliness Haruhi? Perhaps she's celebrating seeing me in nothing but a towel. Heh, heh, bad thoughts, bad thoughts, just shut up and change.

Minutes later I found myself running down the flight of stairs with Haruhi in hand. During the sprint I caught a quick glimpse out of the window. It appears that private vessels and some sea planes were landing on the shores. We were running fast enough to get there but slow enough so that we wouldn't break a sweat and wreck our clothing. 'Come on, only two more rooms to the left.'

'Yes!' Haruhi said as she began to pick up speed. 'Kyon...'

'What?'

'You look savvy.' She looked at me from head to toe and bit her lip. I blushed lightly and don't say things like that in moments like these. Seriously, talk about out of place Haruhi. She puffed out a breath of hot air and said, 'Stop being so uptight then! Only then will I stop teasing you.'

'Teasing me? Puleez.'

'No you. Wait, here's the door.' I nearly fell over as she suddenly stopped in front of me. Before us now were a pair of wooden doors, if according to Haruhi's knowledge (I left too early before they announced the location) then this is the meeting/dinner room. Haruhi tried the door but it didn't budge. 'Crap! I think it's locked.' Gee you think?

'Maybe there's an alternate entrance.' I looked around the hallway we were in. Not a single butler, maid, producer or fellow victim to ask directions from. 'We're in quite the pickle aren't we?' I said, trying to lighten her temper. 'Wait... what are you doing?' Haruhi was backing away slowly from the door. She then began running towards the door at full speed.

'Ha-YAH!!' a devastating kick delivered, an ancient door shattered, an evil released, Haruhi Suzumiya... unleashed. Movie yet to be rated. But seriously though, her method was rather rough yet it was sadly effective. Because of Haruhi's cunning brain we were finally able to gain access to a room full of skeptic and probably scared to death people. Haruhi pulled me beside her and hooked her arm around mine. She then announced, 'This event is now officially in progress! Now welcome the arrival of... **THE SOS BRIGADE TWO POINT OH!!**'

Silence... After this silence it was followed with awkward silence... then after that silence I felt like I was sucked into a soundless volume.

'I... am speechless...' Zack, who was seated next to his girlfriend began clapping slowly with tears in his eyes? 'I... now, truly love you Haruhi. (SMACK!!)' Miyon was always the violent girl. Sigh... I looked over at Haruhi, she appears standing proud, eccentric and beautiful and confident. And then I looked down on myself, shy and a little confused on how I should react to Haruhi's actions. Should I join her in acting as the Free Willy that she is? Perhaps no, I can never pull off something like that.

'Ah! Finally the guests of honor, welcome, welcome, welcome!' a heavy German accent booms through the room. I quickly scanned the hallway full of guests and tables for the voice but I saw none that could fit the vibrancy of the voice. Then from behind an arm stretches over our shoulders and a tall brown haired man leans over us. 'The infamous Haruhi and Kyon, I presume? I welcome you both.' For a German guy he sure was speaking our language elegantly. And it appears that he's quite young, in fact he looks to be as old as us.

Releasing us from his grip he turns to the tables. 'May you join us now, we have been waiting for you for quite the while now.' he bowed.

'You just arrived yourself Himmler.' a random voice from the audience said with laughter.

'Oh you shut up.' Hans looked at the man and grimaced. He then walked over to the man and sat beside him.

With all eyes focused on us Haruhi said to me softly. 'I can't believe this, _that's_ the infamous philosopher who has doubts with the teens of today? He's seems like a pretty nice guy. Unless... he's acting! Yes, he's probably some conspirator!' Haruhi squinted her eyes and focused at Hans who was looking at her back.

'Unfortunately for you Ms. Suzumiya, I am _not_ a conspirator.' Hans said, confirming the fact that everybody just heard her.

I sighed embarrassingly while Haruhi dragged me to our seat with long heavy steps. Tables were arranged in front of a small stage and four people were seated per table. Judging by the number of guests I would consider ourselves lucky that we were even able to find a seat for ourselves. Or perhaps we were all reserved. Nonetheless we were seated together with Ryoko and Taniguchi. I leaned over and asked Ryoko who was dressed in blue, 'Ryoko, didn't you tell us that this was only going to be an outing for us victims? What's going on here?'

Ryoko clasped her hands together and winked at me. She said apologetically, 'I'm sorry, but that was the only way that I could get you guys to come here.' Her smile was nothing like Asahina's however it still manages to uplift me from my problems.

'Al... Alright... I get you.' I said to her, smiling back.

Haruhi was looking around the room and asked, 'Why isn't anything happening yet? Kyon! Why isn't anything happening yet?'

How am I supposed to know? Just stop being impatient and just wait and see.

Haruhi crossed her arms and huffed. Minutes later the program began and a large screen began descending at the backdrop of the seemingly simple stage. A young woman, wait no, Mori-san walked up dressed in a black suit with a microphone. Beside her was Arikawa-san, it appears that the both of them are now acting as the MCs.

'Good evening to everybody. Now that our dear guests have _finally_ arrived we may finally start our program.' Why do I get the feeling that her emphasis on the word "finally" was there to make us feel bad about ourselves.

'For an opening statement the president of Sakura TV was supposed to make an appearance however he is unable to come here since he has apparently died suddenly of a heart attack.' Mori-san apologized with a bow. 'Instead may I call upon the writer-philosopher who made all of this possible for us, Mr. Hans Himmler.'

A spotlight focused on the man mentioned and Himmler quickly stands up, panic in his eyes. 'What? I haven't prepared anything yet. Mind giving me five minutes to prepare myself a speech by writing on this napkin?'

The room was filled with light hearted laughter though Haruhi and I remained quiet. 'Hmmm... fine then being the immensely popular writer that I am I am going to stand there and give a speech about various things...' He made his way to the small stage and Mori-san handed him a microphone. 'Ladies, Gentlemen and my fellow backstabbing writers...' laughter. '...I welcome you to this simple yet strangely elegant event tonight.'

'Let me mention some names just for the hell of it.' Am I hearing this right? He's talking so informally. 'I would like to thank my dear niece Nagato, who's silently sitting there in a far corner of the room pondering on whether she has a chance with Kyon or not.' Everybody turned their head to Nagato who was silently reading. She looked at everyone slowly, clearly she was not amused (or even interested) as she looked back down and continued reading.

'Oh Nagato don't be like that.' Hans smiled. He then turned to Haruhi and I. 'To Ms. Suzumiya and her escort, if not for the both of you then my life would still be a monotonous piece of shit, composed of writing hate essays about the world. Subtly, the both of you have given me a new view in life.' He paused. 'You've taught me to enjoy what is given to you no matter how small it is... Ms. Suzumiya, especially you thank you for showing me that the corner ahead is nothing unless you go there and check it out yourself.' Either this man's exaggerating or he's a very easy person to change.

What?

Silence.

'Ok, ok, fine, I suck with metaphors give me a break here people.' Hans smiled and laughed. 'Now...' he looked at me with sad eyes. 'Kyon... you are a person I can relate to quite easily. Silent, simple, sarcastic... average. However, it is from your point of view that I followed your endeavors with Haruhi, not hers. Your dedication to her out-of-this-world projects have amazed me the most... you've changed me and you've showed me that I should change my point of view of things. However Kyon... are you done changing yourself?'

I felt a fog of uncertainty over my body. What was he talking about? Was he thanking me while at the same time critizising my view of things? If you are asking met to change then... I wouldn't know what to do. The world is imperfect however I don't see it negatively, I see it through my eyes and that doesn't necessarily mean that I'm tormented by it. The world's silence and simplicity can never be changed however if you're telling me to philosophize about this like you then I will by all means not do it. That will simply become a waste of my time and effort. I will never consort to...

'Kyon... are you alright?' Haruhi. Haruhi was holding my hand and she was staring into my eyes as if trying to read what I was thinking. 'You seem to be spacing out... are you still alive?'

'Y-Yes.' I closed my eyes for a moment just to let the rainbow of mixed emotions settle themselves in my head. 'D-Don't worry about it.'

'You're stuttering so much like Mikuru-chan...' Haruhi said, letting go of my hand and turning back to the stage. 'Take it easy for a while, I'm right here remember that.'

Haruhi...

'And so, I guess that could work for an opening statement. Mori... you may continue.' Hans handed the mic to Mori-san and grimaced. He sat back down on his chair, took a quick glance at me and then continued chatting with his friend.

'Now, as you all know this Social Experiment was sponsored by Sakura TV and amazingly the show has made quite the impact on society. Therefore Sakura TV is going to release a DVD of the series to further spread the franchise. Do not worry because everybody will be getting their fair share. Also as planned, we are going to show the volunteered victims...' Volunteered victims? Does that even make sense? '...scenes from the lives of the other volunteers.'

The lights went dim and the screen came to life vibrantly. While the film loaded (it was being shown through a laptop port) our dinner was beginning to get served. The screen was all white and moments later words appeared before us all. The screen read:

STUDENT CLASSROOM INTRODUCTIONS  
Kyon and Haruhi - The Paradigm Couple

Oh no, I'm not going to look. The video opened with my introduction to my class and right after I finished the girl behind me stood up. I was resting my chin on my palm when Haruhi's voice came crisply. 'My name is Haruhi Suzumiya. I graduated from East Junior High.' Ah, I remember, up to that point everything was still so normal. 'Normal humans don't interest me. If anyone here is an alien, a time traveler, slider or an esper, then come find me! That is all.' I watched myself turn around at the weird girl standing behind me. The rest of the class was also starring at her and she scanned the room dramatically. Moments later she stood down and Okabe-sensei awkwardly asked the other introductions to continue. The video ended there.

STUDENT CLASSROOM INTRODUCTIONS  
Taniguchi and Ryoko - Spontaneous Combustion

Moments before Haruhi and I introduced ourselves a tall blue haired girl stood before the class and said with such a lovely voice. 'Good morning to everybody, my name is Ryoko Asakura. I'm not very good at describing myself, instead may you be the judge..' she smiled. 'I'm also fan of Aya Hirano, Yui... in fact I enjoy almost any type of music as long as it isn't offensive in nature. Uhm... I don't know my limits yet however I'm trying to find out by exploring my current strengths. I hope that we all become close friends!' And with that everybody's jaws began dropping.

The video then skipped to Taniguchi. After stating his full name Taniguchi stated, 'I graduated from East Junior High... I uh... like walks in the park, going to movies and--'

'Mr. Taniguchi I am not running a dating show here.' Okabe-sensei interrupted him with a joke. Taniguchi was then forced to just sit down blushing of embarrassment and that was the end of that.

STUDENT CLASSROOM INTRODUCTIONS  
Zack and Miyon - The Da Vinci Decoders

Surprisingly enough the video starts with a helicopter-view of Zack and Miyon's apparent school. It was a large open-field campus with European buildings. The video then cuts to a view of their school's logo placed in one of their main buildings. The Logo read, "Nagaru Tanagawa School of Writing". The video then cuts again to Zack entering a classroom full of adults and teenagers alike.

He places his books on his desks and coughs for a moment before giving his self introduction. 'My name is Zack Adrianne Knight, you might know me as the writer of several socialite books such as, "Society's Temptation: Your Worst Enemy" or "Beyond the Horizon: Expand Your Senses Thou Shall Not Be Deceived By Emotions"... man that was a long book title.' Zack then wiped his sweat with a handkerchief. 'Anyway, I will be your speaker for this whole two months course. Now that I'm done with my intro, let's hear yours.'

The video skips to Miyon. She stands up and immediately the boys' eyes begin focusing on her. 'My name is Miyon Kyuki... I'm just a novice writer so please go easy on me.'

'And what type of book interests you Ms. Kyuki?' Zack asked while taking a sip of his coffee.

'Uhm... I want to write love stories.' she said shyly.

'Ooooh...' boys nudged each other as they gave each other signals. The girls as well reacted with a nice round of laughter.

'Ah... love, the world's most overrated emotion.' Zack's voice was as cold as ice.

'Maybe you're just saying that because you haven't had any girlfriends for a while.' Miyon said with her hands on her waist. She looked angry.

'Oh no she didn't.' A random student said.

'Shut up! That was the worst comeback ever.' Zack said. 'Here's _my_ idea, perhaps you're writing about that topic since you've had so many boyfriends that you have so much experience with the said emotion... or perhaps you are writing about this since none of your boyfriends lasted and you want to teach people to never trust in love.' The video ended with a close up of the two glaring at each other. That was a rather interesting first meeting in my opinion, I never knew that the both of them were writers.

STUDENT CLASSROOM INTRODUCTIONS  
Kira and Miromi - Science and Religion Just Don't Mix

The video started much like our own, a simple classroom with a teacher asking for introductions from her students. Kira stood up with his hands in his pocket. 'I am Kira Verily... that is all.' After sitting down silence similar to the silence that Haruhi caused filled their classroom.

'Uhm...okay... that was a little weird... next please.' the beautiful teacher shifted her eyes. What? Haruhi stop staring at me like that. _No_ I am not staring at her. Just watch the video please you're making blood dangerously gather in my face.

'My name is Miromi Hayashibara, please come to me whenever you want an asswhooping. Heh, heh, no seriously I'm a nice girl, however...' she scanned the class slowly with a serious glare. 'If you cross my path the wrong way, I will break every bone in your body...' Soon enough she engages in a stare-lock with Kira. Minutes passed but not a single person moved and soon enough the video began lagging. It was at that moment that we all heard the all too familiar "Windows Error" sound. It turns out the computer lagged for some reason because one of the operators was playing a game through a different monitor but from the same computer.

'Oh... well we seem to having technical difficulties.' Mori sighed in front of us all and it was clearly heard through the microphone she held in her hand. Upon noticing this she laughed a nervous laugh in front of all of us. 'So anyway, I hope that you all enjoy the dinner. That was merely a glimpse of the planned to be released DVD.' She bowed. 'We'll continue once we finish sorting this out. Have a good evening.'

'Okaaaay!!' Haruhi shouted enthusiastically, loudly, unladylike. 'Let's eat.'

'Formal events... you cannot live without them.' Taniguchi commented as he starred down at the cuisine before him. 'Wha-What the hell are these things?' he said pointing at the clump of shells in front of him.

'Ah those, I cooked those using some wine and stuff. I think the French call it escargot. However I wasn't really sure on how to cook those so I just went ahead and imagined how the French were going to cook it. So I thought that since the French were generally pansy-ish I thought that I should try cooking them with expensive wine. I tried it and it seemed to work. Do you like it Taniguchi-san?' Miromi said behind me, she did not stop for a single breath of air as she said those words continuously.

'Wait, you cooked these?' Taniguchi said, an eyebrow raised.

'Yep.' she exaggerated a nod. 'Aside from being a massacring bitch I'm also a master chef. Ok... maybe not master chef, but I'm pretty good at cooking and they asked me to prepare some of the dishes. Hah, enjoy yourselves.' she raised a thumb as she left off jogging towards Kira.

I looked down and examined the food with my eyes. They really went through the trouble to cook all of these foreign and high class dishes. This is certainly a welcome change from eating fried fish and rice. But I'm a little troubled as to which to eat. They all look delicious but they all look filling and I fear that I might end up just eating one type of dish. I sighed at my ignorance.

'Hey, hurry up and choose Kyon!' Haruhi shouted into my ear.

'What's wrong with you?'

'I just need you to choose already. It's a little distracting watching you just sit there and stare like some hungry hobo.' Haruhi said as she pulled a slice of steak towards her. She then begins cutting at the meat furiously, like a butcher butchering a cow. I feared for my life and I noted to myself that that could happen to me if ever I do something that she doesn't like.

'Ok, ok... I'll choose.' My fingers made their way towards a nearby dish of...

* * *

After eating my heart out I decided to take a stroll outside the terrace. Once I stood up however Haruhi sprang up as well, 'Where are you going?'

'Nowhere, just felt like walking around outside. To catch some fresh air.' I said to her.

'Oh ok.' Haruhi looked down on her plate and fixed her spoon and fork. 'Let's go.'

I raised a brow and I wanted to say something but nothing felt appropriate so I just gestured that we go. On the way out I noticed Miromi eating alone in her seat. Her face was a mix of disappointment and boredom and I couldn't help but feel sorry for her.

Haruhi and I walked on a nearby terrace and we both were met by the cool ocean breeze. I turned and looked at Haruhi for no particular reason, her eyes closed and her hair dancing in the air. I realized that if not for her then things would have stayed the same. Though I'm not thankful for being pushed around and forced to do things that I never really agreed to do, I am quite thankful for the fact that I met a person who I can spend time with.

Instead of wasting more time philosophizing I realized one thing. The moment was there. Now go and take it.

I turned Haruhi towards me by holding her shoulders and I kissed her like I had before. Except this time, it was no longer an act of desperation, it was no longer an act I had to do to save the world. Now, it was merely an act of affection that was silently telling her. I'm happy to have met you.

My eyes were closed yet I managed to feel Haruhi's arms wrapped around my neck. Our lips met there and the cold ocean breeze brushed against us as I heard the sound of birds fluttering around us, we were illuminated by the moon and the stars as an audience. Nothing was going to ruin this rare moment of shared emotion between us...

...except maybe for the sounds of thousands of clicking cameras.

**To Be Continued...**

* * *

**Author's Note**: Ok, this chapter got a little too long. However screw the details of that, damnit, I realized that I require more characterization scenes for the other couples just so they can make a deeper impact in the fic. I'm not really that good with writing emotional stuff... sigh... more of a technical type person but whatever.

It _is_ a little hard to balance the action between the four couplings however I'm going to do it casually and slowly. Wherein, in the future chapters there will be a major plot circling one of the three other couples while there will be a sub-plot about Kyon being sarcastic and Haruhi being sarcastically sarcastic. If you understood what ever the hell that meant then good for you. Oh yeah... the special effects explanations... Groan... next chapter.

Review now or I'll break every bone of your body with my webcam.


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